Rule #1 Do not wear a maxi dress.
Maxi dresses are fabulous, the look instantly cool and can really give you that im-so-hippy-yet-chic vibe most people aim for at a festival, but do understand how much urine there is? Believe me its more than just all over the floor/wall in the port-a-loo. On top of that there is mud and dust which leave you looking like a dirty hobo. And if you want to dance your going to have to hold that shit up, not fun.
Rule #2 The right Shoes
You need to wear something that will last the day and not leave your feet in the emergency tent. That means sandals and thongs are left at home(And if you even think about wearing Crocs i will shoot you down). Most people opt for Vans or Converse's which are half acceptable. They will be comfortable and get you through the day but there unless you know the is going to be no rain they won't do. No one want to be squishing around in wet sneakers (remember there is a lot of pee). The best vote is for a good sturdy boot like doc martins or wellies. The keep you free of liquids and your feet don't get reduce to pulp in the mosh pit. Also try some brightly coloured over the knee socks with your boots!
Rule #3 Dress to your figure
I get it. The weathers warm. You're pump to see your favorite bands. Your wasted on the bottles of vodka you snuck in. So you its okay to wear clothing three sizes to small for you right? No! I do not know why people think that its okay to run around in there underwear with the excuse that its a festival. It looks a lot nicer if you have shorts that cover your bum cheeks. Same goes for tops. If its so tight that boobs are bursting at the seems, or worst back flab then its time to rethink you outfit. You can look just as hot in a t-shirt which out people mistaking you for a hooker.
Rule #4 Accessories
Just like with any other outfit, its the accessories that can make or break your outfit. Festivals are the perfectly way to express yourself, so go down to your nearest $1 shop and buy a bunch of fake flowers, wire and glue and make your own super cool flower wreath much like queen Lana. Another great savior is a floppy hat, especially if your going to a festival that last a couple of days like Falls, or Pyramid rock because your hair is going to is going is naturally look like dreads by the end. You can also go down the costume road and sport something like an Native American headband or a wig to hide dreg hair. Sunglasses can also save your face looking like a hag, but be warned, never wear them at night despite how bad you think you look. Glitter is my festival staple accessory. Everyone wants to be your friend and you look like glamorous disco queen.
Rule #5 Don't be that guy.
The one who is always in second row and doesn't dance. The one that chants the artist most famous song during a set. Multiply times. The one wearing a morph suit. The one who brags loudly about how many pills/alcohol they have consumed. The one who constantly pinches everyone on the ass. Multiply times. The one who steals people folding chairs at campsites. The one that tells you to stop jumping on them in the mosh. The ones who bring bullhorns. And tell you there is a fire drill happening at five in the morning. Dickheads!
Happy Festivals Everyone!
xoxo Tash
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